Quarantine is strange like a donkey show without a donkey, if you will. Here are 5 things to help you achieve world domination/mental stability.
1)The obvious: binge watch TV shows or a movie series that you haven’t quite gotten through yet or haven’t started. Homeland on Showtime is now half way through their 8th season, each season with 12 one hour long episodes taking you through international threats lead by psycho Carrie Mathison, a blonde CIA agent who likes to play kiss and tell with her enemies.
Don’t want to watch 7 seasons? just re-watch the first two seasons of Westworld with the 3rd season just starting this past Sunday. If you don’t have HBO or Showtime, Amazon Prime paid Billy Bob Thorton a carton of cigarettes per episode to play a drunk attorney in the captivating show Goliath. If you want to do something a little different, watch either all of the Godfather’s, 007’s, Star Wars’, Dirty Harry’s or Indiana Jones.
If you are on the basic Netflix budget, you have it wide open like QB1 on prom night. Ranging from Blacklist and Longmire to who really gives a shit what you’re watching.
A quick reminder, do some sit ups and planks while you’re taking a break from looking at your TV and work computer screen. It’s beach season!
2)Read a book with your morning Irish coffee and evening hippy tea. I’m not much of a fiction fan, instead I rather prefer books that are more straightforward. If you want a historical story, I recommend the The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York by Robert A. Caro. It’s a long read about the man who was the centerpiece of New York politics and the gatekeeper of the city’s skyline.
If you want motivation, Mark Manson wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. This book might open your front door and push you out of your comfort zone, literally and figuratively as you re-sharpen that innovative mindset.It may help you ponder the future of human demand.
Blue Ocean Shift by W. Chan Kim will keep turn your head away from the crowded industries and markets and looking in a new direction like a frontier man exploring California in the early 1900s.
3)Believe it or not this is the best time to circle the wagons, reflect, strategize, and set personal goals for yourself. Looking for a new job is as annoying as trying to start dating again. You dream about being in a new relationship, because the grass is always greener on the other side, right?
However, talk is cheap and getting to know new people can be like cooking Chinese for the first time. You read the descriptions on the website and you’re hungry for something new, but you aren’t confident in what you are doing and end up with boiling water burning your privates and food poisoning.Pass the lo mein, am I right?
Get back into that interviewing routine, know yourself better. You will remember what separates yourself from the rest of the litter, or as Mark Cuban likes to call it, your “edge” and what I call “my 3rd nipple”.
I like to do mock interviews in front of the mirror, wearing only a tie, while asking myself the hard hitting questions about life, business and the human condition.
You never know, this might open a few doors to your next adventure, but the worst that can happen is you brush off a few cobwebs, you polished your shoes, and you might realize where you are right now is what’s best for you at this time in your life.
4)Masturbate. Wash your hands 20 times a day, keep to yourself, be a lazy clean bum. Unless you are doing the 40 days and 40 nights challenge like me, then keep up to good work, resist Satan, and do some more push ups so you can control your high testosterone levels. It’s beach season and you got to shed that hibernating bear fat off.
If you’re a sinner that is bored, then try to challenge yourself by pretending you’re in 2003 and all you have is a hustler magazine. Don’t know where to get one, google maps a “quick pantry” or “fast stop” or “kwik mart” or “stop n go” or “piss, shit n cum truck stop”… they got em, they’re probably hidden on a stand that’s in between their hot dog station and the aisle with condoms and batteries.
5)It’s that time of year where you take that check from the IRS and pick up a new hobby for the new decade of your unfulfilled life. Learn how to play a new instrument like the harmonica or piano. Get into woodworking and build your own furniture.Hell, build your own dungeon. Start tying some flies and lose them when you backcast into a sycamore tree. Learn about trees because you have no idea what a sycamore tree looks like. Get a hobby that you can do inside and outside of your house. So when you go on that date with that new lover of yours, let them know you have a couple hobbies you are adamant about because when you desire that much needed space during the week, you’ll have something to look forward to doing.All alone, like no one is watching.
Enjoy the next 18 months of quarantine, folks, and remember I’m an expert
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