Transcript of Matthew McConaughey’s pregame speech

As many media sources reported, Matthew McConaughey was in D.C. for a charity benefit this weekend. Being the ultimate human being he is obviously a Redskins fan. He delivered a fiery speech to the Redskins players before their victory of the Eagles on Sunday. I imagine his speech went something like this. "Alright, Alright, Alright. We are…

My Underqualified Application Cover Letter to be Bill Simmon’s summer intern

  Circa 2015 Short story short: I applied to be Bill Simmons summer intern for his new website. Basically the qualifications were like having stuff published, working in an office like environment before yata yata yata. If you know me, you know that's not how this dog barks. I work outside, blue collar. I sleep…

Recap of Colton Konvicka’s erotic night on the Diamond

Something magical happened on tuesday march 22nd, 2016 at the hallowed Richmond Diamond. It was a fertile seventy degree evening complete with a smooth spring breeze and a moon full enough to give Neil Armstrong flashbacks.Ecstasy filled the air as the Lancers of Longwood stormed the diamond in preparation of battling the Rams of VCU.…

Babatunde Aiyegbusi: Gods gift to Poland, and Polands gift to the NFL

     Babtunde Aiyegbusi is a pure bred oxen fit to lead a family of 12 down the Oregon Trail. Babtunde, who goes by the nickname "Milk Baby" is a 6-9, 425 Polish human buffet trying out his luck at left tackle with the Vikings. He was kind enough to sit down with me for…