Rachel McAdams is a lucky woman who has swapped spit with the best of em! She has been on two of the most transcendent bicycle rides in cinematic history and I for one, do not think that is exageration. Which one did she enjoy more? We have a real Sophie’s choice on our blood stained hands! On one hand we have Rachel’s rendezvous with her 1940’s high school dreamy lover Noah in “The Notebook” or her sandy petal party with her modern day mistress Owen Wilson in “Wedding Crashers”? Let’s examine a little closer like a scientist who has a crush on his intern that he made lie under said microscope:
Setting: Rachel was fortunate enough to experience the rush of wind flowing through her hair with two truly generous lovers. Better yet, both rides were through picturesque scenery in near perfect weather. (Some girls have all the luck, ugh!)
While Rachel and Noah rode through beautiful 1940’s Charleston in the shade of moss covered trees with their horny friends (let’s be honest; Allie’s bff and Nat’s relationship was purely physical like many teens and elderly folk).
On the other hand:Rachel and Owen were riding through beautiful coastal Maryland ,but had the gift of solitude. I prefer Charleston but the land of crabcakes and football is nothing to turn your nose up at. I’ve never been a huge fan of double dates but still, this results in a tie! (kind’ve like my first kiss, I mean varsity wrestling match!)
Riding Partner:Noah is hotter, Owen is funnier.
Noah’s southern draw poured out poetry to Rachel while Owen crashed Rachel’s sisters wedding. Noah is traditional, respectful to a fault, handy and hard working while Owen is a wild, stubbornly modern man and wealthy divorce attorney.Noah and Rachel’s kisses are as plentiful as they are passionate but there’s something magical about the few and far between makeout sesh’s that Owen and Rachel indulge in.
Some poor soul may say swapping spit is swapping spit, but I beg to differ! Quality and quantity meet somewhere in the middle like the lovers in the Pina colada song.Another tie, but lets be honest anyone lucky enough to play tonsil hockey with these stars is a winner so that has to make Rachel a world champion of some sort. (The Guiness World Book Of Records did not immediately respond to our requests for comment. They did send a restraining order, I digress.)
Comfort Level: Would you rather get in a workout on your own bike while playfully racing your partner to lovers lagoon or relax on his handle bars harmoniously while he peddles into eternity? I suppose that’s a personal question ;). Top or Bottom? Handcuffs or missionary? Bareback or saddle? Every car drives a little different.(mine’s a stick shift that sometimes gets stuck in drive). Tie.
Her Riding Companions’ friends: Despite one being a horny con man and the other a war hero, Owen’s bff Jeremy(Vince Vaughn) seems to be much more fun to be around than Noah’s bff Nat (E from Entourage). Plus her sista in Wedding crashers has much more life than her unremarkable Notebook BFF. Rachel would much rather spend the rest of her life on double dates with Jeremy and her sista over Nat and what’s her name.case closed? The more I think about it, most married women I know would hate Jeremy, but the point stands! She has eternal sister time and Jeremy and Owen can indulge on the porch while her and her sister giggle about their grandma shooting at their soulmates. No matter how hot the flame of love may burn, we all have to cool off every once in awhile. Rest In Peace Nat, war is hell. Now let’s get back to neutral.
Story Line: This is where it gets, shall we say, downright “juicy”? Riding with Noah, Rachel was with her first love on a ride we all of our naive teenage brains thought would last forever.
Her ride with Owen was different altogether. She was trapped in a loveless engagement to the SACK! (I hunt Quail, Jeremy!),realizing that the Sack’s plan for their adult life was to pigeon hole her talented self into a powerless homemaker who would raise his children, be cheated on, and quite possibly abused. She escaped this hell with her new carefree mistress who she thought ran a very successful yet compassionate clothing company (holy shirts and pants!) that clothed the homeless.
She was rediscovering what it felt like to be alive, and starting to wonder if perhaps she had found the key that could free her from her life sentence in a white collar upper class suburban prison.
Advantage: Wedding crashers…the bird that appreciates flying the most is the one who has spent time in cage.
The guilt factor: Was Rachel thinking about how pissed the sack would be while she was riding with Jeremy? Did that sour her ride at all or is she a lady that can do as she pleases on business trips etc and come home and kiss her hubby on the lips with no guilty conscience?(we all know one of those, am I right?)Perhaps she didn’t feel guilty for cheating because her lover the Sack was so mean but we know she certainly wasn’t feeling guilty when she was on Noah’s handlebars(You can’t tell me who to love, mama!!!!!!)..advantage:The Notebook!
The verdict:If you were hoping for a concrete answer, you won’t get it from me (or your therapist). The answer lays inside the Rachel in each of us.
You must ask yourself: would you rather be driven around by your high school lover feeling like life is always going to be this good OR would you prefer the sweet rush of Owen’s charisma as he makes you laugh for the first time in months and the ecstasy that is sweet escape from the adult life you’ve found yourself trapped in?
You must choose, innocence or experience?
I’ll leave you with a quote from the great F. Scott Fitzgerald
“There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice”
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