2016
Dear Mother, New York winters are cold and dreary, they remind me of summer in Latvia. I miss your warm cups of drool and bed time stories. I am in very dark place, although they never turn the lights off here. I like our new coach, but no one seems to follow his orders.
Our point guard is very strange man. First people tell me he, who is named after a beautiful flower, was in trouble this summer for kissing his girlfriend when she did not want to be kissed.Then others tell me he let his friends kiss her while she was asleep? It was all very confusing. Now, he just disappears like magician. He does have strange drawing of a magician on his arm so maybe I should have forseen these tricks.Daddy always told me not to trust man with rabbit in his hat.He did not even leave me a letter when he left. He is very mysterious and does not pass me the ball which is also mysterious. He shoots alot. People tell me he won the MVP before, but that cannot be true. That must have been at least 20 years ago!Maybe he really is a flower and has gone barren for the winter. Hopefully spring comes soon and he blooms. I will do my best to water him and nurture his fragile seed. Your sweet Kristaps will be the ray of sunshine my strange point guard and this big cold city needs!
My good Pal Carmelo has also turned cold. He is very frustrated with someone named “Phil”. I do not know who that is. He says “Phil too busy doin yoga to actually make a damn trade that makes sense” and “Phil ain’t watch me play power forward in the olympics? Cause he just paid Noah 70 million of our cap space to play that position.” I hope one day I can take Latvia to the mount Olympus where the gold medals are. Carmelo says mount Olympus is his favorite place to play.Carmelo still shares his bitter drink with me on plane after games though. We laugh, we cry, we drink. Friends forever.I do like this Mr. Noah although he is not the one from the big book who built that large boat with animals but is very nice when we are not playing ball. When we are playing he yells alot and groans. I told him I was worried about him and he said “I like the pain” well, so be it Mr.Noah! It’s like we say in Latvia “everyone likes their Bukstiņbiezputra prepared differently!”
Mother, I feel I must tell you this.There is a very tall man with gray hair and beard who has a very big fancy office that always says strange things to me.He says “Kristaps the best way to play basketball is to act like you are hiking up a mountain on peyote and must survive on urine and berries”. I think his name is the zen master.His favorite shape is the triangle. I never know what he is talking about but his office always smells alot, he has many plants and candles. Mr. Noah is always in that office. Yesterday they must have lit quite a few candles because it was very smoky when I walked in and it smelled like a skunk! There was no fire but lots of smoke which made me cough even though I am not sick. It reminded me of when I was a chimney sweep in the mother land.I sat in his office for a few minutes and began to feel very strange. I felt like my legs had their own legs and it seemed like the ocean was inside my brain. He needs new candles.
On the sunnier side, I love spending time with the tall Ron Baker and Sasha Vujacic. We love getting cappuccinos, shopping for clothes, spa trips and hugging. Ron does not like Cappuccinos but don’t hate him mother, its not his fault. He said in his homeland in the far away land of Wichita they are taught to drink “black coffee” but he really does not seem racist to me. I bet Wichita is even further from New York than Latvia. I try this black coffee, and spit it all over him. Stupid rookie, black coffee taste like Latvian sewage after the town egg boil! He will learn although rookie Ron is growing up before my eyes like the grandson you keep asking me to produce! He keeps saying he is “older” than me but I know that cannot be possible because he is a rookie. What a silly little boy,still keen with the foolishness of a child.I would like to find a wife and give you a baby grandchild but all the women in this city only care about work, coffee and their dogs. No one will rebound for me or dance Latvian style! Carmelo always sings to his wife “YOU WASN”T WITH ME SHOOOOTIN IN THE GYM!” I love that. I want to marry his wife’s sister. But she is an only child.
I miss you all dearly, we will not make the playoffs so I will see you all soon.
with love, Kristaps
P.S.- The apples here are not as big as I thought they would be.
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